my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
