We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize