honey bunches of taint.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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