do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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