she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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