"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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