it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
