Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
