you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
