Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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