I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize