Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize