Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
