I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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