Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My dick has a subreddit
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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