Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
