well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
