It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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