just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
