my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
