I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
