Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
