I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
