i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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