I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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