There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize