He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
