you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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