# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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