If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
