my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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