my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
