i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
