Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(914): View more from New York

i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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(573): View more from Missouri

Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday

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(813): View more from Florida

she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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(845): View more from New York

he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"

(845): View more from New York

where do u find these people!?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.

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(406): View more from Montana

So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period

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