It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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