i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
