OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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