you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize