soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
