clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
