drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
