Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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