I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
