The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
