Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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