Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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