That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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