but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
