i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize