I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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