i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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