Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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