My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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