Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
