So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
that's an acceptable place to lick
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
