are you still at the devil's house?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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