captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
