I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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