Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
