he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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