Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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