So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
