Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
