Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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