I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
