It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
