hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize