Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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