No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
